


The Banani Onion War

by MightyDoodlebug



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Bananas, M/M, Onions, Other, wtf is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 16:08:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13639683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MightyDoodlebug/pseuds/MightyDoodlebug
Summary: The BananaLord is challenged by the Onion King to a duel. Will the BananaLord win and save the world through arm wrestling? Or will the Onion King win and take all he holds dear?





	The Banani Onion War

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't in a fandom, this is just something I made last year for class
> 
>  
> 
> Dont judge me

The Banani Onion War by Banana Lord 

(Forgot to mention Banana Lord and Grass n’ stuff are like adults in this so bleh)

PROLOGUE

Once upon a time, there was a Banana, named Banana Lord. He was the Lord of the Banani (plural for the Banana race) of Banana City, which is a country full of amazing yellow things (known as Banani/as).  
But long before the Banani came to be known as such, they were part of a race known as the Onions of Onion Land. But they evolved into the Banani over time, and they caused a revolt in the Onion Kingdom. The Banani came to dislike the Onions, for they bullied them for being different.  
The revolt was known as the Banani Revolt of 1812, which resulted in the first Civil War in Onion Land history.  
The Banani wanted their own land, they wanted a Declaration of Independence to become their own country. And after many long years of fighting for independence, the Banani finally got what they wanted... Independence.  
Onion King was of course unhappy, but the Onion King let it slip, for now…

~~~~

One morning, as the Banana Lord was getting ready with his wife, Grass, someone knocked on his door. The Banana Lord opened his door to see it was the Onion King from the rival country, Onion Land, which they had been at war with for years after the Banani Revolt of 1812.  
The Banana Lord despised the Onion King, for he had been nothing but trouble for many years. But, the Banana Lord knew that the Onion King was jealous, for his country had prospered beautifully over the years.  
“Well hello there… Banana Lord,” sneered the King while walking into the Banana Lord’s home, uninvited.  
“Hello, Onion King. What brings you to my home?” Asked the Banana Lord, in a frustrated tone as the Onion King went in and sat in the Banana Lord’s favourite chair.  
The Banana Lord wasn’t very happy to see the Onion King, he was a bad man that didn’t deserve the role of a ruler. Or the right to sit in his favourite chair.  
“I wish to challenge you to a competition,” said the Onion King, “one to prove which of us is better.”  
The Banana Lord knew that he could not turn this down, but he also knew that it was probably rigged for the Onions to win. Even so, he was determined to accept it and win against the Onions.  
“I accept your offer, Onion King. But know that I won’t go easy on you,” replied the Banana Lord, and not wanting to talk to him longer, asked him to leave.  
The Banana Lord sat down with his deeply concerned wife, who asked him what had happened with the Onion King.  
“The Onion King wishes to compete to prove which of us is better, and as much as I wanted to refuse… I couldn’t,” explained the Banana Lord to his wife.  
The Banana Lord knew that his wife understood how he felt about the Onion King, nobody liked him. Everybody knew how horribly the Onion King treated his people, and because of this, his people grew to be horrible people like him. The Onion King used his army to terrorize other countries, and even attack and ravage the small villages of his own. Nobody wanted to travel through the Onion Kingdom, it was too scary. People knew that they would probably not make it through, so they used alternative routes that go around and through other countries.  
The Banana Lord was going to win against the Onion King (fairly), no matter what.

~~~~

It had only been a few days since the Onion King had come to the Banana Lord’s home to challenge him, and he got a letter from the Onion King telling him that the event was to be soon underway. The letter stated to come to the Onion Kingdom’s Palace, and that he is to be expected.  
The Banana Lord notified his wife that they would be leaving the next day for the Onion Kingdom, and that they should tell the people that they will be participating in this event and that they should watch on their televisions (they had those).  
The next morning, as the Banana Lord was on his way to the Onion Kingdom, he got to see what kind of poverty the Onion King’s people lived in.  
“This place is horrible,” said the Banana Lord. “How could he do this to his country?”  
“We all knew he was an unworthy ruler, but I had no idea it was this bad,” replied Grass. “I want to help these people… But I know the Onion King would despise us even more than he already does, for trying to help his people.”  
“He might even attack us if we tried,” stated the Banana Lord.  
“Maybe… But let’s try and think about other things,” said Grass, attempting to move her attention elsewhere.  
The Banana Lord nodded his head in agreement with his wife, he knew they couldn’t do much without putting his own people in danger. The Banana Lord decided to think about what he would do when he gets to the Onion King’s Palace, instead of the state of the Onion Kingdom.

~~~~

As the Banana Lord and his wife arrived at the Palace, they realized why the country outside of the Capital was so impoverished. The Palace was made completely of gold, it shone in the sunlight. It even hurt your eyes to look at during the day.  
As the Banana Lord’s “vehicular transportational device” stopped, he saw the Onion King waiting for him outside of the Palace.  
The Banana Lord got out of his “vehicular transportational device” and went to greet the Onion King.  
“Good morning, Onion King,” the Banana Lord greeted. “How are you doing on this fine day?”  
“I’m doing great,” the Onion King replied. “What about you, Banana Lord? How about your wife?”  
“We’re doing just fine,” said the Banana Lord, as his wife walked up to stand next to him with a smile.  
“That is good to hear,” the Onion King said, trailing off and looking away to see another vehicle pulling up to the entrance.  
The Banana Lord looked to see what the Onion King was looking at, and saw another vehicle coming their way. The Banana Lord didn’t recognize the vehicle, but he did as soon as it came to a stop. The Banana Lord realized it was Christopher III, the ruler of another country. The human country, filled with the thing known as “human beings.”  
Christopher III was very tall, and had long black hair that went down his back. The Banana Lord never understood why he kept it so long, it was hard to take care of.  
The Banana Lord was surprised to see Christopher, along with his wife.  
“What is he doing here, Onion King?” The Banana Lord asked.  
“I… I don’t know, the Onion King stated, “I never invited him.”  
The Banana Lord liked Christopher III, they had been great friends for a long time. And undefeatable allies.  
Christopher III got out of his vehicle, and approached the Banana Lord and the Onion King with a smile on his face.  
“Hello, ladies,” said Christopher to the Banana Lord and Onion King.  
“I’m not a lady!” shouted the Onion King, but was ignored by the Banana Lord and Christopher III.  
“Morning, Christopher,” the Banana Lord said. “What are you doing here?”  
Before Christopher III replied, the Banana Lord turned his head to look at the Onion King. He looked furious, probably because he was just called a lady and then ignored.  
“I heard about what was happening, so I came to say hi,” Christopher told the Banana Lord, and winked.  
The Banana Lord realized that Christopher probably had a plan to do something about the Onion King, he was going to ask Christopher about it later.  
After a few minutes of trying to convince the Onion King to let Christopher III stay, the Banana Lord said that he would leave if Christopher didn’t get to stay along with him.  
The Onion King obviously couldn’t say no to that, he had been waiting to defeat the Banana Lord in something for so long.  
“Fine,” said the Onion King, in an angry tone.  
“Thanks, Onion King,” said the Banana Lord, because he felt the Onion King actually deserved it.

~~~~

That night, after the great dinner that was prepared for them, the Banana Lord met up with Christopher III in the garden of the Onion Palace to discuss what they were going to do about the Onion King.  
The Banana Lord and Christopher III sat down on a bench (which was made of gold) in front of a grand fountain, ready to discuss their plan.  
“What are we going to do, Christopher?” asked the Banana Lord.  
“Well… I kind of already have a plan,” said Christopher. “Do you want to hear it?”  
“Will I actually like this plan of yours?” the Banana Lord questioned Christopher, moving closer to Christopher on the bench. The Banana Lord could see Christopher was somewhat uncomfortable of his advance, so he moved back.  
“Probably not…” Christopher said, looking up into the sky ignoring what just happened and moving on.. “I have been sent to assassinate the Onion King…” Christopher continued.  
“Wait, seriously?!” yelled the Banana Lord while standing up quickly and facing Christopher on the bench  
“Yes, seriously… And I need your help,” Christopher III said while also standing up, and walking closer to the Banana Lord and embracing him just as Grass started walking towards them.  
The Banana Lord and Christopher III didn’t notice Grass approach them… Until it was too late. Grass saw what they were doing.  
Grass knew about the relationship Christopher III and the Banana Lord had in the past. Well... most of it, anyways.  
“What are you doing?” Grass asked in a stern tone at the two, who were startled greatly at the sound of her voice and jumped away from each other quickly.  
“Uhh… we were just… talking,” the Banana Lord (kind of) made up. “We just happen to be talking rather… close together… right Christopher?”  
“Y-yes… just talking, nothing else aside from… talking,” Christopher also (kind of) made up looking towards the Banana Lord with a face that basically says “Oops.”  
“Fine, but the Banana Lord is my husband, Christopher. Don’t forget that,” Grass barks at Christopher very angrily as Christopher looks down at the ground, too scared to look Grass in the eyes.  
Grass looks over to her husband and mouths “We’ll talk about this later,” and storms off back inside the Palace.  
“Sorry,” Christopher III says looking up and walking away.  
“Don’t worry about it,” the Banana Lord says, but realizes that he said it too late as Christopher is already gone.  
Great, the Banana Lord thought as he started towards his room, now I’m going to get an earful from Grass and Christopher feels bad.

-INTERMISSION-  
Things be gettin’ pretty spicy ;)  
And you will get more stuff on the assassination later okie dokie  
And sorry it long i is carried away and the next chpt. doesn’t represent how i really treat people so don’t complain tis thy Banana Lord not me btw Banana Lord is adult in this and so is Grass bc y not nothing somewhat illegal here it’s like in the future but in the past okie and I didn’t think it would get kind of romantic or whatever pls don’t kill me okie dokie artichokeme

~~~~

As the Banana Lord was making his way back to his room, he came across Christopher, who turned and walked away once he saw him.  
The Banana Lord couldn’t stand it when Christopher wouldn’t talk to him, so he sped up his pace and followed Christopher back to his room where he went in and slammed the door shut behind him before the Banana Lord could follow.  
“Christopher, I need to talk to you,” the Banana Lord announced as he knocked on the door.  
No response.  
“Christopher, please,” the Banana Lord said knocking harder this time.  
“Leave me alone,” Christopher shouted from inside the room. “It’s my fault that your wife is angry with you, so why won’t you just give up and leave me alone?”  
“My wife might be angry with me, but that doesn’t mean that I am angry with you,” the Banana Lord answered. “I may be a tad bit annoyed, but that wouldn’t be enough to ruin how much I care about you.”  
This was true, the Banana Lord deeply cared about Christopher, and he knew Christopher cared about him.  
“So will you let me in, now?” asked the Banana Lord.  
“Okay,” replied Christopher walking up to the door unlocking and opening it for the Banana Lord.  
The Banana Lord walked in and wrapped his arms around Christopher.  
“Will you forgive me, Banana Lord?” Christopher asked wrapping his own arms around the Banana Lord.  
“What do I have to forgive you for?” the Banana Lord chuckled. “I believe you did nothing wrong.”  
“Thanks,” Christopher said. “Don’t you have a wife to deal with, though?” Christopher proclaimed stepping out of the hug.  
‘Oh right,” the Banana Lord responded as the Banana Lord stepped back outside of the room and saying goodbye to Christopher as he left.

~~~~~

The Banana Lord walked back to his room, mentally preparing himself for the atrocity that is soon to come… his wife.  
He entered the room, looking around, but there was no trace of her in the room.  
“Grass?” the Banana Lord called into the empty room, but nobody responded.  
The Banana Lord walked over to the bathroom to see if she was in there, but she wasn’t.  
“Grass?” the Banana Lord called again but into the bathroom, getting no response once again.  
The Banana Lord didn’t think that his wife was this unhappy with him, but he was still worried about his wife.  
The Banana Lord left the room to look for his wife. He searched the whole palace, unable to find her.  
The Banana Lord went back to Christopher’s room, to ask for his help.  
“Chris, I need your help!” the Banana Lord shouted slamming his fist against his door multiple times. “I will help you if you help me right now!”  
“What do you need help with?” Christopher said as he opened the door to his room.  
“My wife, Grass, has disappeared,” the Banana Lord said frantically. “I have searched the whole palace, but there is no sign of her.”  
“Did you ask the Onion King about this?” Christopher asked.  
“No, I don’t trust him,” the Banana Lord responded. “But I will help you with your plan if you can help find her.”  
“Even if you didn’t say that you would help me, I would still help find your wife,” Christopher stated, leaving his room and walking down the hall expecting the Banana Lord to follow. “Let us find that woman of yours!”  
“Yeah, let’s do that,” the Banana Lord said following Christopher after closing his door because he hadn’t done so himself.

~~~~

The Banana Lord and Christopher searched over the whole palace again and again, but they still couldn’t find her. They decided to head back to the Banana Lord’s room to think up a plan to find Grass.  
They made it to the room, and sat down on the bed together.  
“Any ideas?” asked Christopher.  
“Nope,” said the Banana Lord. “I guess we might have to have a talk with the Onion King, after all.”  
“As much as I don’t want to do that, I am afraid we might have to,” Christopher said as he laid down on the bed looking up at the golden ceiling.  
“Well, I guess we’re going to do that then,” the Banana Lord sighed getting off of the bed to leave the room.  
“Hey, wait for me!” Christopher yelled at the Banana Lord who was already outside of the room.  
Christopher left the room and followed the Banana Lord down the hall, catching up to him.  
“What are you going to say to him?” Christopher asked the Banana Lord.  
“I thought we were both asking him about it,” the Banana Lord said. “Why are you coming along if you’re not going to do anything?”  
“What if the moment arises when I can assassinate him?”  
“Seriously?”  
“Yes, exactly,” Christopher said walking ahead of the Banana Lord.  
“Okay, then,” the Banana Lord replied speeding up to catch up with Christopher.  
The Banana Lord and Christopher made it to the Onion King’s room, where they thought he would probably be, and knocked on the door.  
“Is someone there? What do you want?” the Onion King shouted from inside the room.  
“It’s me, the Banana Lord, and Christopher,” the Banana Lord shouted back from outside of the room.  
“We have a few questions regarding an important matter,” Christopher shouted after the Banana Lord.  
“Fine, I’ll open the door,” the Onion King said as he went and opened the door. “I opened the door, what do you want?”  
“We want to know if you’ve seen Grass, she has gone missing,” the Banana Lord told the Onion King.  
“No, I have not seen her,” the Onion King said somewhat angrily at the Banana Lord.  
“Are you so sure about that?” Christopher asked stepping closer to the King in a threatening stance.  
“Since I haven’t seen her, why don’t you go ask the guards?” the Onion King said moving back and slamming the door behind him.  
But Christopher moved his foot and blocked the door in one swift motion.  
“What do you want!?” the Onion King shouted at Christopher.  
“We need to know if you have seen Grass,” Christopher answered opening the door and walking in. “And if you don’t give us an answer, than the Banana Lord will not participate in your competition.”  
“And I haven’t seen her, so leave,” the Onion King barked at Christopher, pushing him out of the room and slamming the door.  
“Man, who passed him the salt?”  
“Better not have been you, but we have higher priorities to deal with,” the Banana Lord said walking back down the hall with Christopher following him once again.

~~~~

“Christopher,” the Banana Lord said poking the sleeping man’s face trying to wake him. “Christopher!” the Banana Lord now shouted into his face.  
“SHUT UP! IT’S 2:00 AM!” the rather angry Christopher shouted back at the Banana Lord, trying to kick him.  
“It may be 2:00 am, but there is an emergency,” the Banana Lord said back to Christopher, not shouting this time.  
“Wait,” Christopher said.  
“What?” the Banana Lord asked, curiously.  
“What are you doing in my room?” Christopher inquired.  
“Waking you up.” is what the Banana Lord responded with to Christopher’s question.  
“Why?” Christopher asked the Banana Lord, ready to kick him for a stupid reason.  
The Banana Lord didn’t answer his question, but he really had snuck into Christopher’s room because another emergency had arisen in the already dire situation.  
Christopher sat up in his bed and looked at the Banana Lord, and asked him what this emergency was.  
“There is no more toilet paper,” the Banana Lord said. “And since there is no more toilet paper, what am I going to do now?”  
“That’s it?” Christopher laughed and laid back down and pulled his covers up, looking away from the Banana Lord.  
‘That is not it,” the Banana Lord said as he began poking Christopher.  
“What else could possibly happen?” Christopher asked, not sitting up, but instead turning over on his side to look at the Banana Lord.  
“I found Grass.”  
At this, Christopher sprung out of the bed, and starting shouting questions at the Banana Lord as to where she was.  
“We forgot to look in the front garden…” the Banana Lord started tearing up as he continued to tell Christopher what had happened.  
“She’s dead?”  
“Yes.”  
“We should have checked the front garden.”  
“Yes, but what about the toilet paper?”  
“Is now really the time to think about that?”  
“I need it.”  
The Banana Lord really had to use the bathroom, but there was no toilet paper to use. And since his wife has been dead, the Banana Lord has been somewhat lonely. But first, the Banana Lord decided to deal with the toilet paper situation instead of his loneliness.  
“Christopher, I need toilet paper,” the Banana Lord stated once again.  
“Do you think I care?” Christopher barked back.  
“I hate you,” the Banana Lord whispered, so that Christopher wouldn’t hear.  
The Banana Lord didn’t actually hate Christopher, he was just annoyed with him, again. The Banana Lord really couldn’t hold it in much longer, and looked up to Christopher to see him walking into the bathroom.  
“Why are you doing that?” the Banana Lord asked. “You don’t have toilet paper.”  
“I am being nice and seeing if there actually is toilet paper,” Christopher shouted from the bathroom. “You need it, don’t you?”  
“I do… and soon, very soon,” the Banana Lord replied with a tinge of worry in his voice as he got off of the bed and went into the bathroom, trying his best to hold it in.  
He looked at Christopher, with his head under the sink, and asked him what was taking so long and also mentioned that there is a “major flood warning” down south.  
Christopher, knowing what this meant, quickened his search and finally found what he was looking for. Toilet Paper.  
“Found it!” Christopher called back as he lifted his head, toilet paper in hand, and handed it to the Banana Lord, “have fun” were his parting words as he left the bathroom.  
“Finally,” the Banana Lord sighed closing the bathroom door and then moving towards the toilet, finally able to start the “evacuation.” And maybe while “evacuating” he could think about what he is going to do about his wife, or what’s left of her.

~~~~

After a long discussion of sitting around a coffee table situated in Christopher’s room, the Banana Lord agreed to Christopher’s plans of assassinating the Onion King and possibly taking over the country. The problem was, is that the Banana Lord had to distract the Onion King, while Christopher did the deed. The reason that was the problem was because the Banana Lord wasn’t sure what to distract him with, so he asked Christopher what he’d wanted.  
“Maybe we could use the competition as a way to distract everyone?” Christopher suggested  
“Hmmm… I think that might work,” the Banana Lord didn’t really think it through, but he believed that a plan was better than no plan at all. “But how are you going to do it? Any ideas about that?”  
“I have an idea, dunno if it’s a good one,” Christopher got up and started pacing.  
“What is it?” the Banana Lord asked the possibly concentrating Christopher, hoping that it would maybe be somewhat creative but not creative enough that he would be caught.  
“I just randomly choose a time to do it, and then I swoop in and kill him!” Christopher said looking at the Banana Lord to see his reaction.  
“Seriously? You’re just going to swoop in and kill him at literally any given time?” the Banana Lord taunted since he did not really agree with the idea.  
“Then why don’t you do it?” Christopher snapped at the Banana Lord.  
“Then I will,” the Banana Lord proclaimed standing up off of the chair he was in and walking out of the room and motioning for Christopher to follow him. Christopher obviously followed him out of the room and back to the garden they had first discussed plans in.  
“Christopher, I don’t know if you knew this, but I am a rather talented combatant if I do say so myself,” the Banana Lord said, leading Christopher back to the bench at the grand fountain in the middle of the whole garden, and sat down.  
“You’re a banana,” Christopher corrected, “and a king.”  
“And you are an idiot, and the Onion King is an onion, I think it is more evenly matched, considering the fact that you would probably suffer a great defeat,” the Banana Lord deadpanned, not to Christopher’s amusal.  
“Fine, knock yourself out, and don’t tell anyone I persuaded you into this,” Christopher got up from the bench started going back to his room to go back to sleep.  
Now all I have to do is think up a plan, the Banana Lord wondered about all the different possibilities and looked for the easiest one to accomplish, if there was one.  
The Banana Lord decided to take a walk around the palace, to think. He went back and forth throughout the halls, around the table in the dining hall, up and down the stairs all over the palace, and back to going around the halls, getting food from the kitchen, making some stops due to more “flood warnings,” but nothing came to mind that he could possibly do.  
What am I going to do? the Banana Lord kept thinking repeatedly, but still didn’t have a single good idea! I also can’t have anyone find out that Christopher was involved, so I probably can’t use him, the Banana Lord thought, but then had an idea. And he knew Christopher will hate it even more than the Banana Lord hated his.  
The Banana Lord went back through the large golden halls of the palace, making it to Christopher’s room and busted through the door with a wide smile on his face.  
“Christopher! I have an idea!” the Banana Lord went further into his room to once again wake him from his slumber.  
“SHUT UP! IT’S 2:00 AM!” Christopher shouted once again, too lazy to try and kick him this time.  
“No, it isn’t!” the Banana Lord picked up a pillow and started hitting Christopher with it wielding a lethal force, one that a simple human could not comprehend.  
“STOP THAT! I AM TRYING TO SLEEP!” Christopher shouted again, but actually tried throwing punches and kicks at the Banana Lord, who decided to stop before they both really got hurt. “Thank God you stopped that, how do you even hit that hard?” Christopher questioned as he started to settle down, more tired than he was before.  
“I can’t tell you because it’s a secret, but I have a plan to deal with the Onion King,” the Banana Lord sat on the bed next to Christopher, and explained his plan to him.  
“WHAT!?” Christopher exclaimed almost falling off of the bed.  
“Sorry, but it would work more than your plan,” the Banana Lord said, this was the best chance he had he didn’t want to give it up.  
“Fine, and if I don’t survive,” Christopher started, “I’ll say hi to your wife for you. That sound good?”  
“All cool with me, but be warned,” the Banana Lord said getting off of the bed to leave, but was stopped by Christopher.  
“Wait,” Christopher said grabbing the Banana Lord’s arm. “What should I be warned about, exactly?”  
“She might want to murder you, based on what she caught us doing the other day,” the Banana Lord managed to get his arm out of Christopher’s hold and left the room.  
“I don’t think I really want to die anymore, but I guess I’m stuck with it,” Christopher said, deciding to go back to bed and get more sleep.

~~~~

The Banana Lord woke up, and found himself in Christopher’s bed. He looked around the room, and realized Christopher sleeping right next to him. The Banana Lord remembered that they decided to stay up discussing their battle plan in more detail together, before the day of the competition. And that they both fell asleep not very far in.  
Oops, the Banana Lord thought, hoping that Grass isn’t mad at him for sharing a bed with Christopher. Especially after that night.  
The Banana Lord decided to get up and get ready for the competition, that was happening today. He didn’t want to do this, but he had to.  
After the Banana Lord got ready, he went to find the Onion King. But the Onion King found him, instead (meaning the Onion King snuck up on him and scared him).  
The Banana Lord had a long discussion with the Onion King about the events that were to happen on that day, because he had been focusing on other things the whole time.  
“The competition’s winner will be proved by an arm wrestle,” the Banana Lord never thought that the winner would be decided by something as small as an arm wrestle, but that was apparently what was happening. Luckily, the Banana Lord (though a banana) had arms, because he was a magic banana.  
“Okie dokie artichoke,” the Banana Lord said, though the Onion King didn’t really follow through with it, so he took it as a threat.  
“HOW DARE YOU THREATEN THE ONION KING!” the Onion King shouted into the hall, which obviously alerted the guards.  
“What’s wrong, sir?” one of the guards asked.  
“Nevermind! Leave us be!” the Onion King screamed at the guard telling him to go away. And the guards scurried off, afraid he wouldn’t be getting a promotion (or a raise) anytime soon.  
The Banana Lord didn’t want to talk with the Onion King any longer, so he sneaked away and into the kitchen to look for food.  
The Banana Lord found some popcorn, so he decided to watch House, M.D. on Netflix with Christopher III while waiting for the competition with the Onion King to start. And they had a picture of Grass to make the mood somewhat happier, though it failed. Miserably.  
“I hate Vogler, he’s a jerk,” the Banana Lord told Christopher, who also happened to dislike Vogler as much as he did.  
“Vogler doesn’t deserve to be head of the board, even if he has a ton of money,” Christopher expressed to the Banana Lord, who agreed with him.  
“House is kind of a good doctor, he just doesn’t understand that,” the Banana Lord said as he reached over for more popcorn but all he got was a hand full of nothing.  
The fact that they ran out of popcorn made the Banana Lord sadder than he already was, but then realized Christopher had two handfuls of popcorn that he was shoving into his mouth.  
“Christopher,” the Banana Lord said giving him a death stare.  
“Yethsh?” Christopher managed back through the mouthful of popcorn.  
“We’ve run out of popcorn. Do you want to know why?” the Banana Lord said showing Christopher the empty bowl of popcorn.  
Christopher looked at him and managed to say, “No, wher dith the pothcorn go?”  
“It’s all in your mouth!” the Banana Lord crossed his arms and started glaring at him even more fiercely than before.  
“Thowwy,” Christopher somehow choked out of his mouth, still filled to the brim with the popcorn that could have gone in the Banana Lord’s mouth.  
The Banana Lord accepted his “apology” because he knew he couldn’t do any better.  
Sometime during the 4th episode of season one, a guard sent by the Onion King came to alert them of the competition that was starting in one hour, and that the Banana Lord should get ready.  
The Banana Lord got off of the couch he had been situated on beside Christopher, and took a nice warm shower (they have those) and got dressed in somewhat fancier clothes.  
He got out of the bathroom and asked Christopher, “Aren’t you coming?”  
“Oh, I have to come?” Christopher asked. “I didn’t think I was coming, mostly because it’s now your job to assassinate the King.”  
“So? Don’t you want to watch?”  
“Fine, I’ll be there.”  
“Okay.”

 

~~~~~

The Banana Lord made it into the Grand Hall, it was kind of like a giant arena. And it was filled with people. The Banana Lord noticed that there was a table in the middle of the arena, a simple square table, with the Onion King sitting on the other side of it, and everyone was cheering loudly. He recognized some people from his country, and even Christopher’s.  
The Banana Lord began walking towards the table, and sat opposite of the Onion King.  
“Hello, Banana Lord,” the Onion King said raising his arm for the Banana Lord to grasp.  
“Hello, Onion King,” the Banana Lord replied, raising his arm and grasping the Onion King’s hand, ready for the arm wrestle to begin.  
A man, probably the referee, walked up to the table. But before he could tell them to start, the doors to the Grand Hall busted open. And the hall went silent.  
The Banana Lord, Christopher, and even the Onion King couldn’t believe who walked in. It was Grass, she looked exactly like she did the last time the Banana Lord saw her alive.  
Christopher jumped out of his chair and ran towards the Banana Lord and looked at him, worried.  
“Banana Lord, what did you do?” Christopher asked, turning his head to look at Grass, approaching them.  
“I didn’t do anything, I don’t understand it,” the Banana Lord started walking towards Grass, but she walked right past him and to the Onion King. The Banana Lord turned around to see what she would do, and she started talking to him.  
“I will avenge myself!” she shouted at him while she pulled back her arm and started to punch the Onion King, who tried to dodge, but failed. He got nailed right in the face by Grass.  
“Agh!” the Onion King screamed, falling to the ground because of the lethal force that was the Banana Lord’s wife’s fist. He tried to fight back, but it was no use.  
“This is what you get for murdering me!” and Grass once again punched him in the face, and knocked him out this time.  
Just as Grass moved away from the Onion King’s unconscious body, Bethany Williams III walked through the doors. She walked over to the Banana Lord, who was looking at her in disbelief, as she told him, “I resurrected your wife for you, hope you don’t mind.”  
The Banana Lord couldn’t believe it! He was standing right before the Bethany Williams III, the great ruler of Squadville, one of the greatest nations in the world.  
“Thank you, Bethany Williams III,” the Banana Lord said to her, ‘I owe you so much, thank you.”  
The Banana Lord turned after giving his thanks and started walking towards Grass,who also started walking, but Christopher got in the way and hugged her. Instantly killing the mood for the Banana Lord and Grass, since they stopped and instead just looked at each other.  
Way to go, Christopher, the Banana Lord thought as he realized that Grass was rather uncomfortable in the situation.  
Grass managed to break free of the hug, and started walking back towards the Banana Lord to give him a hug. Which the Banana Lord gladly accepted. And apparently Christopher got a bit lonely so he came over and started hugging the both of them, too.  
“Christopher, do you mind?” the Banana Lord said. “Can’t you see we’re trying to have a touching moment, here?”  
“Fine,” Christopher said backing out of the hug, “but make sure you give me another one later, Banana Lord.”  
“Maybe.”  
The Banana Lord stopped hugging his wife, and looked at her.  
“So, what’s it like to die?” the Banana asked his wife.  
“That’s it?” Grass replied, unsurprised that her husband didn’t ask how she was doing.  
“That’s about it, and plus, I wanna know,” the Banana Lord kept prying.  
“Why don’t you go die and find out?” Grass spat back at him.  
“Great idea! I’ll go do that,” the Banana Lord turned and looked at Christopher. “Hey Christopher, you wanna come and die with me?”  
“I’d love to!” Christopher said back, with a bit of sarcasm in his voice.  
“Let us go! Bethany Williams III, resurrect us in 2 hours!” the Banana Lord shouted grabbing Christopher and heading off.  
“I will… maybe,” Bethany Williams III said, but not loud enough for the two to hear.  
“You better bring at least one of them back,” Grass said to Bethany, “and it better not be Christopher.”  
“I will consider it when the time has come.”

EPILOGUE

After Grass defeated the Onion King, after Christopher and the Banana Lord killed themselves to be resurrected by Bethany Williams III, they all went back to their own nations, happy about what they had accomplished.  
The Banana Lord made sure to not do anything more with Christopher that would make his wife upset, and Grass decided to not murder Christopher III for his debauchery. Christopher III got married to Frosty I. Bethany Williams III took over the nation of the Onion Kingdom, and made it into the Squadville Kingdom. And the Onion King remained dead, not to be resurrected for many years to come… 

THE END. . .

EXTRAS

POPCORN

“Hey Christopher?” the Banana Lord said to Christopher, who was watching the rest of House, M.D. with him.  
“Yeah?” Christopher replied.  
‘What is the meaning of life?” the Banana Lord asked him.  
“Don’t know, don’t care.” Christopher said grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth, and a “handful” to him basically means the whole bowl.

BANANA PEELS  
The Banana Lord got up in the middle of the night, for he was hungry and was on a conquest for food, when he slipped on a conveniently place banana peel on his kitchen floor.  
“OH NO!” the Banana Lord shouted into his home, waking his wife who came barreling into the kitchen to see what he was up to.  
“What are you doing!?” she shouted at her husband, who was on the floor.  
“I slipped on a banana peel,” the Banana Lord tried getting up, but slipped again.  
“Oh! Are you okay?” Grass said kneeling down and trying to help the Banana Lord up.  
“Anyways, I was trying to get some food, but then I--” the Banana Lord slipped once again, this time his wife falling with him.  
“ARE YOU AN IDIOT!?” Grass shouted at the Banana Lord.  
“MAYBE! BUT WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!?” the Banana Lord shouted back at his wife.

CHRISTOPHER AND BANANA LORD  
“Okay, so, a man walks into a bar--”  
“Christopher.”  
“Yes?”  
“Shut up. Nobody cares.”  
“Okay. But what about this one?”  
“Fine.”  
“Hey, what’s the definition of a will?”  
“What?”  
“Oh, c’mon, it’s a dead giveaway!”  
“I am feeling tremendous amounts of hate towards you.”  
“It’s only natural.”

THE ACTUAL END.


End file.
